Ah Shit
by The Punisher1369
Summary: Alan is finally moving out and Charlie is ecstatic, but that's about to change


Authors Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story

No Copyright intended

It was a lovely day in Malibu and Charlie was enjoying every minute of the day, the reason behind this was because Alan was finally moving out with his new girlfriend who Charlie didn't care to know the name of, all Charlie cared about that Alan was moving out.

Charlie danced to the living room singing "He's gone, He's gone, He's gone… Ah crap he's still here" Charlie said seeing that Alan hadn't moved out yet.

"Alright Charlie me and Jake are leaving, I just think we should say our goodbyes in a friendly manner" Alan said.

"If I give you two thousand dollars will you get the hell out?" Charlie asked handing Alan the money

Alan looked at the money for about a second and took the money

"Goodbye Charlie" Alan said as he moved quickly out the door with Jake right behind him. Charlie made sure that they were gone and then he started dancing and singing again.

"He's gone, He's gone, He's gone, and He's go- holy crap" Charlie said as he saw Rose standing right behind as he turned while dancing.

"Rose what are doing here?" Charlie asked

"I heard that Alan was leaving and I wanted to say goodbye" Rose answered

"Well Alan is gone and I hope this time for good, and life will finally get back to normal" Said Charlie

"Charlie I know you don't mean that" Rose said in a caring tone to Charlie

"No I mean I'm glad that life sucking little weasel is gone" Charlie said truthfully

"That's ok Charlie you'll realize it when you're ready" said Rose

"So what are your plans now Charlie, now that Alan's gone?" Rose asked

"Oh you know the usual drinking numerous bottles of alcohol, having as many women as possible here, inviting some friends and having poker nights, having even more women over and finally … even more drinking" Charlie said with a smirk

"Oh Charlie you haven't changed" Rose said shaking her head

"Was that a compliment or an insult?" Charlie asked

"It doesn't matter, don't you ever get bored of sleeping with numerous women and excessively drinking, don't you ever want to settle down and start a family?" Rose asked

"Rose I tried that three times with Lisa, Mia, and Chelsea they never worked even when I tried to make things work" Charlie stated taking away his smirk

"Well maybe you just haven't met the right woman yet" Rose said

"Oh Rose when a man tries to settle down three times and it doesn't work it's like baseball three strikes you're out" Charlie said standing up

"Oh Charlie that's so silly, why do you believe those things?" Rose asked

"Because that's true" Charlie stated

"Who told this?" Rose asked once again

"I learned from experience" Charlie said

"Oh Charlie there is a woman for you, you just have to look hard enough for her and you might get hurt on the way but the end of the journey will have been worth it" Rose said as she got up from sitting down

"You know maybe your right Rose, maybe I'm just on some journey to find the one woman who will truly bring me happiness" Charlie reassuringly

"Keep searching Charlie" Rose said as she kissed Charlie on the cheek and with that said Rose left

A couple of hours passed and Charlie was enjoying the sunset when he decided it was time to retire and go to bed. However when he got to his room he saw Rose in a beautiful light blue nightgown.

"Rose what are you doing here, I thought you left hours ago" Charlie said trying to hide his arousal

"Charlie when I meant find the right woman I meant right in front of you" Rose said in a seductive tone

"Rose couldn't you have given me a better hint" Charlie exclaimed

"C'mon monkey man I know we have had some rough spots but please Charlie from the moment we met I've loved you and please don't deny this feeling because I know you feel it right now" Rose said passionately walking up to Charlie and wrapping her arms around Charlie

"Rose we gotta discuss something, when I took you to bed I was drunk and you were vulnerable, that's just the kind of horrible person I am, I'm sorry but it's just who I am, I take advantage of women who are vulnerable, I'm sorry I did that too you but the best thing for both of us to resolve this is to move on, we can still be friends but we have to keep it on a friendship level, I'm sorry I took your virginity and kept you longing for me" Charlie said

"Please Charlie just tell me you love me, I can't move on from you, you're the only person I've ever loved Charlie, I would do anything for you" Rose said with tears forming in her eyes

"I'm sorry Rose but-" Charlie was about to say before he was cut off by Rose kissing him

Charlie tried to back out of the kiss but he was soon entranced and couldn't stop himself he wrapped his arms around her and then he moved his hands to her face where he wiped off the tears, Rose grabbed him tighter and gave a more passionate kiss, Charlie went along with it, and Charlie progressed to move forward he slowly undressed her as Rose did the same to Charlie and instead of fucking Rose, Charlie did something different he made love to Rose, he made passionate love to her. Over the past couple of days Charlie and Rose had decided to date her again now knowing how much he really meant to her. However Charlie usual world was about to be turned upside down.

The doorbell rang and Charlie got the door, it was Alan with a box full of his belongings.

"It only took you five days for her to get sick of you, that's a new record" Charlie stated

"Please Charlie, I've got no one else to go to" Alan begged

"You got mom" Charlie said trying not to laugh

"Please don't make me go over there I'm begging you for god sakes" Alan kept begging

All of a sudden Charlie and Alan heard and

"Oh my god" from upstairs only to find Rose holding something

"Charlie I'm pregnant" Rose said with a shocked tone

"Oh goody your home well Charlie I might need to stay here for a couple of days, apparently I've been framed for fencing stolen property" Evelyn said as she pushed through Alan.

"Excuse me Charlie but me and Herb had another earthquake, so I was wondering if we could stay here while they fix the house" Judith said with Herb and Jake behind her"

"If I gotta clean up after everybody here I'm seriously considering other employment" Berta said with a clothes hamper in her arms

Charlie looked at Berta and then he looked at Rose who was now carrying his baby, he looked at Herb, then Jake, then Judith, and then Alan.

"Ah Shit" was all Charlie could say.


End file.
